Half an Arrow in My Chest
by thricechampions
Summary: Dean's broken. Roman's angry. Seth has a secret. And Randy... well, for some reason he's determined to help fix the whole damn thing.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** This ended up far longer than I expected, partially because I haven't written in years (the last story I posted on here is probably the last time I wrote) and my mind has apparently forgotten how to write, and also because I am prone to ramble in everyday life. This is set before MITB (I had hoped to get it up before then but _typically_ I had computer problems). Rated M just in case.

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><p><em>I'm half a man at best. With half an arrow in my chest,<br>I miss everything we do. I'm half a heart without you_

The air in the pub is tainted by the smell of cigarettes, but it makes Seth smile despite himself. He remembers the same smell entering his apartment after one of the countless FCW tapings. He hated the smell, but for some reason he didn't mind it when Dean's head fell on his shoulder and he found his nose buried a mess of curls that carried the awful smell. Instead he found himself pushing his nose further into the hair and pressing a kiss against the strands once the older man was asleep. Come to think of it, there are a lot of things about Dean that in any other case he would hate...

Seth shakes his head, catching himself before he falls farther into _that_ box, and follows Randy to the bar.

"What're you drinking?"

"Just a beer." Seth only ever drinks – _used_ to drink – whisky with Dean. He isn't ready to let go of that tradition he holds so close to his heart... even if Dean doesn't feel the same way.

"Can I get 'nother here?" Seth's eyes dart around until they fall on the owner of the voice. Sat at the opposite side of the bar is a man in a plain, black t-shirt and a leather jacket that he loved to steal when the cold was too much for him to handle. Dean's forearms are crossed on the bar, his whole body slumped forward to the point his chin is almost resting against them, "hey! 'nother whisky!"

He doesn't want it to hurt. He doesn't want the sight to cause his chest to ache in the way it does. He doesn't want his arms to twitch and yearn to hold the older man in his arms and never let him go again.

But he never gets what he wants, and tonight is no exception.

"We can go somewhere else if you want?"

"Huh?" Seth drags his eyes away from his former teammate to look at Randy, who has apparently caught onto the situation, "oh! No! Its fine... I don't care." Randy just rolls his eyes.

"Bullshit. You miss him, you _care_ about him. It's all over your face, man." Seth curses inwardly. The last thing he needs is any more reasons for Randy to doubt where his allegiances lie.

"I suppose it's just a bit weird not hanging out with him."

Randy continues to stare at him. Intensely. It makes him squirm uncomfortably in his seat. It's not that he's never been stared at intensely before, so often he was on the receiving end of Dean's stares. But this feels different. Dean's would send shock waves up his spine and cause his brain to fizz.

Randy's feels more like he's been strapped to a metal table and is looming over him with a scalpel, ready to cut inside. It doesn't take long before Randy makes the first incision, "you seem to miss him more than Roman."

Yeah, because he doesn't _love_ Roman. Not like that anyway. He doesn't dream of Roman every night. He doesn't find himself daydreaming about Roman's lips against his. He doesn't jerk off in the shower while imagining Roman's naked body pressed against him. He doesn't sometimes find himself staring at a video he still has saved on his phone where Roman smiles and laughs so openly and happily that it makes Seth's chest swell and ache all at the same time. No. He misses Roman, but the hole Roman's absence has left in his heart is a mere pin-prick in comparison to the crater created by Dean's absence.

"We were just closer. Roman would hang out with Jimmy and Jey so it'd just be us two." Seth says. It isn't technically a lie, "but y'know... whatever."

Randy just nods, but clearly knows there's more to the story. Thankfully, and surprisingly, he doesn't push Seth on the subject. He doesn't even comment when Seth finds himself staring across the bar on several occasions.

About an hour passes before they stop serving Dean. To the surprise of nobody who is familiar with drunken Dean, he begins to kick up a fuss. There was a time when Seth would take Dean's face in his hands and talk to him calmly until the wild fury in his eyes began to die down. But he can't do that. Not anymore. Not when he's still trying to convince Randy that he can be trusted and that he isn't trying to thwart the Authority.

Because he isn't.

But he didn't jump ship because he wanted to be a part of Triple H's little posse either.

"You should probably phone Reigns and get him to come down here before your boy gets himself arrested." Seth's eyes snap back to Randy. His mouth falls open to respond, but words fail him. Did he just encourage him to phone Roman? Did he just call Dean _his boy_? All Seth can do is nod. He draws his phone out of his pocket and takes a deep breath. This won't be a pleasant conversation.

The phone rings once, twice, three times before the voice on the other end appears.

"What the _fuck_ do you want?" Seth tries not to flinch. Roman has never spoken to him with such venom. His chest aches all over again.

"Uh, Dean's here in the hotel bar. He's – he's fighting with the bar staff because they won't give him another drink. I think you should come get him before gets himself arrested." He can hear Roman curse, followed by the sound of sheets rustling.

"Pretty damn ironic that the only person who seems to know how to calm him even when he's drunk and angry is the _reason_ he's drunk and angry, isn't it?" Roman doesn't give Seth a chance to even take a breath before hanging up.

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><p>Dean is the first person he sees when he steps through the door – drunk, angry and determined to fight anyone and everyone in sight. No doubt he'll be paying another bill for damages to the hotel room in the morning. He begins to close the distance between himself and his teammate, but the all too familiar sight of two-toned hair stops him dead in his tracks.<p>

"Are you happy now?" He barks at Seth. Roman can feel the anger building within him. Seth jumps and tears his eyes away from Dean, but Roman doesn't allow the exchange to continue. He can't afford to get into an argument right now. Not when his brother needs looking after. He quickly marches over to his friend and grabs his arm, "c'mon, Hunter'll be pissed if he finds out you've been kicking off in public. Don't need to give him any more excuses to hate us."

"No no, 'm fine Ro, jus' – jus' lemme go."

"Can't do that man, sorry." He dips his shoulder and throws Dean over it, not paying attention to the loud protests and hands slapping at his back. He strides out of the pub, ignoring Seth's stare as he passes them. How dare he? How _dare_ he phone him as if he cares? Seth proved he doesn't care about him or Dean the day he decided to beat them with a steel chair. And how dare he pretend to care while he's sat all chummy with _Randy fucking Orton_ of all people?

Getting Dean back to their room proves harder than he first thought. He would ask Seth how he managed all the nights this was his job if he didn't have such a strong urge to punch the younger man at the mere thought of his back-stabbing face. When he reaches the lift and steps inside, he drops Dean to the floor. Dean instantly leans against him, still cursing the bar staff though thankfully he isn't swinging his fists anymore. Maybe their room will survive the night undamaged.

"Seth was in the bar y'know." Dean slurs, head lolling to face him.

"I know."

"Was with that – that – that creampuff."

"Yeah."

"Y' think they're fucking?" There's a _ding_ before the doors slide open.

"What? I don't know Dean. Look just – no not that way, c'mere." With one hand locked around Dean's wrist to stop him wandering the wrong way, he manages to – _eventually_ – get them to their room and slip the card into the door. He shuffles Dean inside quietly and closes the door.

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><p>Randy glances over at Seth and sighs heavily. He doesn't trust Seth at all. How can he? He was willing to betray the men he called brothers for two years, so how can he honestly believe the same won't happen to him? Not that he's scared of the younger man. More he isn't certain of his intentions yet and he prefers <em>not<em> be blindsided by a steel chair.

But just because he doesn't trust Seth, doesn't mean he doesn't feel sorry for him. He can tell betraying, and consequently losing, Reigns and Ambrose has hurt him. _Especially_ losing Ambrose. Just the way he looks at the other man makes it clear that their relationship extended past the point of brotherly love. Randy knows all too well how the other man must be feeling. Maybe he's had one too many drinks, or maybe he's going soft as he grows older, but there's a little voice in the back of his mind encouraging him to at least _try_ and bring some comfort to the younger man. And for whatever reason, he always listens to those voices. Even if they make no sense to him.

"Were you and Dean together?" It comes out more abrupt than he had planned. Seth chokes on his beer.

"W-what? Me and – together? No! No, not at all. No." Seth splutters, still half choking on his drink. Randy has to stop himself from rolling his eyes. He makes a mental note to teach the kid how to lie convincingly in the future.

"Seth, I don't care if you were. Not like I have much room to judge." Seth opens his mouth to protest again, but stops as the words register.

"You... you're dating someone on the roster? _A guy_?"

"Yeah... Cody. That's why, y'know... I was wondering if you and Dean had something going on. You're miserable, clearly broken up over it, and whatever _'it'_ was, it was _definitely_ more than just some brotherhood or whatever you guys called it. But yeah... me and Cody had our problems, I had to think about my career and y'know how it went down. But eventually we sorted it out, and you'll sort it out with Dean too."

He's never told anyone about his and Cody's relationship before. Only those closest to them are aware. Not even Hunter knows about it. But he sees Seth's eyes brighten a bit and... it feels pretty good to know he's made him feel better, even if only a little.

"That... thanks," Randy just waves it off, "I hope so. But me and Dean... we were never–" Seth sighs, shaking his head, "he doesn't know, y'know, that I'm in love with him... didn't wanna ruin our friendship... but I suppose we don't always get what we want."

Randy furrows his eyebrows, "you say it like you didn't have any other choice."

Seth finishes the last of his drink before shrugging, "I felt like I didn't... It wasn't so much a career move. We always agreed that if one of us wanted to leave to do our own thing we'd be cool with that and stay brothers but... I was scared and when Hunter made the offer I took it without really thinking. I was stupid enough to think if I was away from Dean, I'd – I'd stop being in love with him. But…"

"You still love him and now you've lost him completely." Seth nods and drags his finger around the rim of the glass, "you should tell him. Or at least tell Roman. They think you did it because you _wanted_ to betray them. Tell them the truth and maybe you can fix this."

Seth shakes his head, "too late for that. They won't even give me the time of day. I tell them the truth... man, they're gonna think I'm just winding them up. I don't think I could handle putting myself out there only to be shot down completely." Randy sighs and nods. He decides to drop the conversation. For now. But he knows – hell, _Seth_ knows – that it's not over. He sees too much of Cody in Seth. So much so he feels he already kind of knows the kid, maybe even has a bit of a soft spot for him. And Randy is determined to fix this mess.

Christ. He really _is_ getting softer with age.

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><p><strong>AN:** Sorry about the awkward ending, I wasn't sure how to tie it off. Influence for this story is _Half a Heart_ by One Direction (oh hush they're my guilty pleasure). At the moment there's going to be 3 parts to this story, but I won't hold myself to that just in case!

Any reviews would be much appreciated! Until next time!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Thank you so much for the reviews (and the follows/favourites, yeah I see you guys hiding there, I don't bite, honest!). I'm always apprehensive about posting my stories, but you've given me a bit of a confidence boost so thanks. Hope this chapter doesn't disappoint!

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><p>He can't remember how he ended up in bed. The last thing he remembers is making his way down to the hotel bar after drinking the contents of the one in their room. But the heavy <em>thumpthumpthump<em> in his head tells Dean he didn't return to the room sober. Cursing, he sits up and presses the heels of his hands into his eyes. God, he needs a coffee... and maybe a bottle of painkillers.

He groans and looks up when the heavy wooden door is shut with a loud bang. Roman's always deliberately loud whenever he has a hangover. He seems to find it amusing.

"You're up! I got you a coffee and a couple painkillers. Figured you'd need them." Dean finds himself wondering whether Roman secretly has some sort of mind-reading abilities. He catches the bottle as they're thrown in his direction and takes two, not even bothering to get a glass of water. He then happily takes the coffee and takes a sip. Vanilla. Roman knows him well. Perhaps _too_ well. But now isn't the time for that.

"You're a lifesaver, Rome. What would I do without you?"

"Judging by last night? Throw punches at bar staff when they refuse to serve you anymore whisky." Dean grimaces.

"Fuck. Didn't hit anyone did I?" The _last_ thing he needs is potential assault charges hanging over his head.

"Nah, when I got down there you were only in the _'I'm-gonna-threaten-you-till-I'm-blue-in-the-face_' stage, but no punches."

Dean huffs out out a relieved sigh, "thank god. Thanks. How'd you find me anyways?"

Roman frowns. He doesn't want to bring up Seth's name. He hasn't known Dean to be so… _Dean-like_ since_ the incident_. For weeks, he's been trying to get Dean to just smile, crack a joke, anything. He hasn't been himself at all. Roman had feared Seth's departure had damaged Dean permanently. But here he is. Humming contently as he sips his vanilla flavoured coffee and looking up at him through his hair with blue eyes brighter than he's seen them in weeks.

"Rome?" Dean's frowning now. Roman runs his hand back through his hair.

"Seth. Seth was the one who called me. He was in the bar and saw you kick-off." He doesn't mention that Randy was also there. Not after he saw the sadness in Dean's eyes as he talked about them being together.

"Oh," Dean shuffles on the bed, "what did he, uh... what did he say?"

The hopeful eyes are a shock. He had expected Dean to be angry or upset, but... what exactly does he hope Seth said? Not for the first time, Roman begins to wonder about the nature of their relationship.

Even before the formation of the Shield, Roman had witnessed the secret glances when the other wasn't watching. And when they started hanging out together, it was even harder to not notice the way Seth's eyes would sometimes drop to Dean's lips, even when the other wasn't talking; or the way Dean would _always_ find an excuse to cuddle up to Seth – of course, sometimes Dean would curl up next to Roman, but usually when the other man wasn't an option, and _never_ as close – or the way Seth's hand would _always _end up tangled in Dean's locks. He knows neither is against being with a guy – Seth has always openly admitted to being bisexual, while Dean just says gender is irrelevant to him and he fucks who he wants to fuck – but would they be against being with each other? And if not, would they really hide that from him?

Roman refocuses when he hears Dean say his name again. He blinks, "oh, uh nothing much. Just said you were in the bar, kicking off, and that I should go down you before you get arrested."

"Right... was nice of him." Roman doesn't want to agree, but it was. Seth could've easily just left Dean. It would've stopped the random attacks he's been suffering as of late. But instead he risks it for the sake of Dean. Maybe Seth still feels some kind of affection towards them.

Or maybe just towards Dean. He wonders whether Seth would've done the same if it was Roman...

"Were you and Seth dating?" He asks before he can stop himself. Dean's eyes snap to his, mouth slightly ajar in shock.

"What? No!"

"Right, sorry, it's just –"

"_We weren't together_." There's a hint of growing anger in his voice now, and his determination to end the conversation makes Roman think that there's more to it. But he knows when to back off. If Dean ever decides to talk, he knows where he is.

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><p>By the time they reach the arena, Roman definitely regrets asking. Dean resorts to only responding to Roman a shrug of his shoulders, a grunt, or one word answers. It's torture. If Seth was here he would know what to do. He'd do and say all the right things. He's never been jealous of their close bond – he knows that Dean came to WWE <em>for<em> Seth and, although he'd never admit it, he never wanted to _hurt_ Seth; he just wanted the other man's approval. Like a kid, he was just desperate for Seth's attention – but he hates the fact Dean still shuts him out like this.

He almost confronts him. Almost asks him why he isn't allowed in the exclusive _I-can-trust-you-with-my-feelings_ club. But there's a good chance Seth has forced Dean to revoke all memberships until further notice, and he knows better than to try and use force. So they walk silently through the corridors, with only the sound of their suitcase wheels running behind them for company.

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><p>As they turn a corner – surely they can't be far from their locker room now – Roman notices the tension in Dean's shoulders has disappeared completely. Roman remembers Seth telling him one time that when Dean is angry or feels anxious, his shoulders become tense. He referred to it as the <em>'Ambrose Measuring Stick'<em> or something stupid like that.

Then they turn _another_ corner – maybe they should've left markers to help them find their way back out – and he sees Seth leaning against a crate not too far from their locker room. He's eating one of those damn Quest bars he loves so much, laughing at whatever Randy is saying. Roman looks at Dean and hopes he hasn't seen him, but its wishful thinking. Of course he has. And the tension in his shoulders has skyrocketed.

"C'mon let's just get inside." Roman murmurs. He quickens his step and prays Seth doesn't see them because Seth knows what his betrayal has done to Dean's mental state and knows their former teammate will do anything to cause further damage. And at this moment in time that could be done just by locking eyes. But as they get closer the heavy sound of their footsteps carries down the corridor, and Seth's head turns to the side. Roman tries to muster up a glare, but Seth's face is devoid of any emotion other than concern and it catches him off guard, so Roman knows it probably doesn't look anywhere near as menacing as intended.

Then, Dean charges past him and pushes the door to their locker room open with such force he hears it smash against the wall inside. Instantly, Roman's attention is torn away from Seth and he follows his brother with concern.

Roman misses the way Seth automatically takes a couple of steps towards the room in concern, and the way Randy stops him by placing a hand on his shoulder, shaking his head, and then ushering him away.

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><p>With the way Dean had charged past him, Roman expected to be spending the next few minutes – at <em>least<em> – trying to clean up the mess and calm Dean down. But Dean's anger seems to completely dissipate the moment the door cracks against the wall. When he steps inside the locker room, he stops in his tracks. Dean is on the floor, leaning back against a wall. His legs – drawn up to his chest – act as support for his arms, which are crossed. Dean's face is hidden – his forehead resting against his forearms – but he can tell just by looking at the way his body is trembling that he's upset. Extremely upset. This is uncharted territory for Roman.

"Dean? You alright, man?" Stupid question, of course he isn't. But it gives him time to consider his movements. In the end, he opts for kneeling in front of him. Roman reaches out with his hand to squeeze his shoulder. Dean inhales sharply.

"I don't know how much longer I can do it, Rome."

"Do what?"

Roman is fairly certain Seth is the only one who has ever seen Dean cry. It's the ultimate sign of trust, and a privilege not even Roman has been granted. At least, not until now. Roman watches as Dean's head slowly rises. His bottom lip is trapped between his teeth acting as a dam holding back the floodgates. That dam breaks when Roman wraps his arms around his friend. When there's no fight – not even a quiet _'dammit Rome, get off me'_ – he curses Seth for everything. The betrayal. The pain. And for breaking Dean.

True, Seth's betrayal hurt Roman, but now the urge to maim and destroy Randy Orton his priority. As far as Roman is concerned, Seth isn't worth his time or his energy. Considering their close bond, he never expected Dean to let Seth off so easily, but he had hoped by now Dean would be done moping, and would instead be determined to break the kid in half like he broke his heart.

But that was yet more wishful thinking. The problem is, Dean hasn't had time to mope. He has to put on a mask for the sake of the cameras and pretend losing Seth isn't slowly killing him from the inside out. What he needs is time to himself. He needs time to mope and cry, get angry and break things, to release the emotions that he's bottling up.

And he needs to realise he hasn't done anything wrong. He needs to realise that Seth and _only Seth_ is to blame.

Dean curls his fingers around the fabric of Roman's shirt and chokes out a sob. He hates the sound, hates the fact he has been reduced to crying, hates how pathetic and weak he feels. He buries his head further into the neck of his friend, hiding his face so he can allow the tears to fall freely. He's never allowed anyone to see this side of him. Well… he allowed Seth but look how that's turned out. In the end, Seth took Dean's unwavering trust in him, and used it as a weapon. Normally, his mind would now be racing, panicking about how Roman could follow in Seth's footsteps... but he's tired. Tired of pretending he's ok, tired of pretending he doesn't feel like he's lost a part of him, tired of _everything_.

Roman is rubbing his hand on his back tentatively; his other hand on the back of his head, threading fingers through his hair the same way Seth would when he was upset. Roman is, whether he knows it or not, trying to be a substitute Seth. But it's like trying to fill a round hole with an oval-shaped box. It's so close to fitting, so close to being enough, but it isn't. It doesn't feel right. Nothing will ever feel right. But he tries to not complicate it and instead allows himself to be comforted by the warm hand of his friend. The only one who stayed.

If he closes his eyes, he can pretend he's in the arms of that two-toned fucker who caused this pain. He can pretend it's all been a bad dream, that he's woken up in a cold sweat and Seth has immediately scooped him up into his arms. He can pretend that he's crying into Seth's shoulder while telling him about his nightmare, and that Seth is telling him that everything is fine and that he doesn't have to worry about it because he'll always have Seth and Seth would never do that to him. He can pretend to the point the pain in his chest eases, but the second he pulls away from his neck and opens his eyes it returns with vengeance. Instead of warm brown eyes, he's met by grey ones filled with pity.

Dean throws himself back, roughly scrubbing his face with his hands in an attempt to wipe away all evidence of his despair.

"Quit looking at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like that. Like – like you feel sorry for me or some shit. Don't want your pity." Roman knows it's all a front, and the fact Dean thinks he still has to put these barriers up hurts him.

"I'm not, man. I'm just trying to be a friend... I hate that you don't think you can talk to me about whatever's gotten you so worked up. I just want you to be honest with me. Let me know what I can do to help."

Dean scoffs, "thanks, but there's nothing you _can_ do..."

"Then just at least tell me what's going on... please?"

Roman watches as Dean shuffles and settles back down with his legs crossed, hands in his lap, his fingers playing nervously with the sleeves of his hoodie. Roman moves to mirror his position and waits silently for Dean to speak. There are several false starts – Roman almost cracks a joke about how he kind of looks like a fish, but then decides now is _definitely_ not the time – but eventually Dean takes a deep breath.

"I'm... in love. With Seth," Dean says. His voice is so quiet Roman almost has to strain to hear him, "you asked earlier about me and him. We were never – I never told him how I feel. Was too scared. Thought he'd run for the hills. Turns out I didn't need to tell him for him to run." Dean huffs out a laugh. It's humourless and it's weak and it's just... _not Dean_. It doesn't sound right. Nothing about this is right. Dean is in love. Every time Roman even brought up the topic of falling in love or settling down in a relationship he was either shot down or laughed out of the room. Dean was so hell-bent on never falling for anyone.

Yet here they are. Sat on the floor of their locker room. And Dean has fallen for Seth Rollins. The same man who told them they were never anything more than just business partners. The same man who looked Dean dead in the eye as he betrayed them. No wonder Dean is so broken.

"Figured you felt something for him," Roman says. He isn't sure what else he _can_ say, "but man, for your own sake, you gotta to try and move on. You deserve better."

Dean draws in a haggard breath and releases it slowly. His vision becomes clouded with tears once more, "I don't want _better_, Rome. I want _him_... I want _Seth_." His voice breaks, the taste of that name on his lips causing a stray tear to slip down his cheek. Roman's heart breaks all over again and all he can do is pull his friend in for another embrace.

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><p>He hates to admit it, but Randy feels sorry for Seth. He genuinely does. He might not trust the kid, but he knows how hard it can be to lose the person you love. Even worse for Seth, he's never actually gotten the chance to enjoy a relationship with Dean, he has nothing to cherish just in case they never move past this. At least Randy had a few months with Cody before their separation.<p>

Seth is dressed in his skin-tight pants and Authority tee, ready to compete. But Randy has other plans before he lets the younger man head out to the ring. He just hopes it doesn't backfire.

"Hey, c'mon. Wanna do something before you head out tonight and I need your help." Randy announces while throwing a t-shirt on. Seth stands. There's a frown on his face, but he complies regardless and follows without question. At least, he does until they reach Roman and Dean's locker room.

"No. No I've already said I'm not telling him. Not now!"

"You wanna just go on with life not knowing? I thought you told me you didn't like having regrets."

"I don't but I –"

"But nothing." Randy raises his hand to knock forcefully three times. Seth cringes. This can't end well. There's no way in hell this can end well.

The door opens slowly, but then quickly begins to close once Roman sees Randy and Seth stood at the other side. Randy forces his boot in the gap before it can close fully. Roman growls. Seth takes a deep breath.

"What do you two want?"

"We just wanna talk. Or. Well, Seth wants to talk. I'm here just as moral support."

"Dean isn't here. Even if he was, I wouldn't let you in."

"We don't wanna talk to Dean. We're here to talk to you. So are you gonna let us in or should we wait out here until Dean comes back?"

Roman sighs and opens the door. He doesn't really have a choice in the matter. Roman doesn't bat an eyelid when Randy saunters in, full of confidence – it's nothing unusual. What _is_ unusual is the way Seth slowly steps into the room. Much like earlier when his face was showing nothing but concern, the nervous expression on his brother's – _former business partner's_ – face catches him off-guard. He quickly scowls when Seth's eyes meet his.

"Talk."

The words catch in Seth's throat. He hasn't planned a speech. He hasn't even thought what he'll say. All he can stutter out is 'um's and 'uh's and a couple 'I's. His mind has completely blacked out on him. Randy sighs.

"Seth's come to tell you why he... y'know. Beat you with a chair," Seth's head snaps to Randy, who just shrugs, "what? You did. Anyway, I figured you should hear the _real_ reason."

"Yeah? Well I'm all ears." Roman says, throwing his arms out wide for good measure. For a split second, Seth is half tempted to screw everything and just run into his arms. He misses Dean, but he misses his big brother Roman too. The big brother that always offered a shoulder to cry on and never asked for an explanation, or _anything_, in return. Maybe the truth will bring him one step closer to being reunited with his family. He can only hope so.

"I – I did it cos was scared." Seth admits. He watches as Roman's eyes soften around the edges ever so slightly.

"Scared of what?" Roman asks. He can't think what Seth possibly had to be scared of. Seth's eyes drop to his boots.

"Of – Because I, uh... I realised that I'm – I'm in love with Dean and... I'd known for a few months but it just hit me and I –"

Roman interrupts him, barking out a short laugh, "you expect me to believe that?"

"Well... I, uh... yeah." Seth stumbles out. He's bewildered. Sure, he's done some shitty things recently in an attempt to put out the fire Dean has started in his heart and to further his career, but does he honestly think Seth would lie about something like _this_?

"Well I don't," ok, so maybe Roman _does_ think Seth would lie about this, "you're a lot of things, but I never had you down as manipulative. Then again, I never had you down as a backstabber so I guess I don't know you as well as I thought."

"I'm not –"

"_No_! You listen to me. You're going to turn around and walk out of this room right now before Dean comes back because I am _not_ going to just stand by and let you _manipulate_ him this way just so you can get the upper hand!"

"For fuck sake, Roman, I'm not trying to manipulate anyone!" Seth shouts. He can feel his throat constricting as the lump there grows. He doesn't want to cry in front of Roman – Roman would probably think it's another manipulation tactic because apparently the moment he swung that chair he lost all ability to feel real emotions, and now all his actions are directly connected to some evil plot against his brothers – and he knows he needs to compose himself and put his mask back on before he heads out to the ring.

Roman watches as a single tear falls down Seth's cheek. It's eerily similar to the way Dean cried after he admitted he loved the two-toned man. It's as if everything they do is in sync with each other. It breaks his heart _again_ – god _dammit_ he doesn't remember signing up for this much emotional turmoil when he joined up with these two – but he stands his ground. This is exactly what Seth wants. Sympathy. But Roman isn't going to give him what he wants. He can't risk being betrayed by the same man twice. Seth turns as quickly as the tear escapes and slams the door behind him as he leaves, leaving Randy and Roman alone.

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><p><strong>AN:** Do you think Roman was a bit harsh on Seth there? Will he change his mind, or will Seth have to face Dean alone? I'd love to know what you think about this chapter. This ended up longer than I originally planned – it's so hard finding the right place to cut it off sometimes. May be a couple errors as well - I've read through it so many times it's hard to spot anything! As always, reviews would be much appreciated. See you guys next time!


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Jeez, been a while since my last update. Apologies! I had a _serious_ case of writers block for this one and I'm not overly happy with it, but if I didn't post it I'd probably sit staring at it for months so here we go – the final part!

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><p>Roman turns to Randy the second the door slams, "that means you too. Get out."<p>

"Nah."

"_Nah?_"

"Yeah, _nah_. As in _nah_ I don't think I'm gonna leave. Not yet anyway," Roman balls his hands into fists. He wants to slap the smirk off his face, and he won't object to beating Randy until he _has_ to leave. Preferably on a stretcher. Randy notices the movement and laughs, raising his hands, "woah, easy there big guy, I didn't come here to fight. The kid wasn't lying. For some reason he loves your boy Ambrose and he came up with this stupid plan instead of dealing with his feelings."

Roman wants to believe him, oh he really does. There's Dean, crying on his shoulder while he admits he's in love with the younger man. And he could only imagine the joy if he found out Seth reciprocated his feelings. He could have his brothers back, his family back together. But... it's all too convenient, isn't it? They both admit their feelings for each other on the same day? No. It just doesn't sit right with him. Perhaps... perhaps the Authority has bugged all the locker rooms. Maybe this just some elaborate scheme to humiliate and break Dean once and for all. Roman isn't going to just stand by and let it happen. He's going to protect him. Because he isn't sure he could bare to see Dean in a state any worse than he is now. And he daren't even think about how Dean would react.

"Y'know, for some reason I just don't trust you."

"I don't blame you." Randy laughs. It seems... genuine. Roman allows his fists to uncurl as Randy shifts back and forth his feet. He knows one way he could gain Roman's trust but he isn't sure how comfortable he is with the idea. Telling Seth was one thing, but telling Roman... the man who has made it his mission to destroy him? He doesn't fear a fight... he doesn't really fear anything – well, he doesn't fear anything apart from spiders and possibly losing Cody. How can he be sure Roman won't use anything he says against him? Go running back to Hunter and telling him everything and leaving Randy to choose between his work and his love?

_Or maybe he keep it to himself as a thank you for helping his brothers? Maybe he'd keep our secret just that in return for you helping his brothers keep theirs?_ He hears a voice – Cody's, always Cody's – say in the back of his mind. Even when he isn't there to help him see the best in people... _he's there_.

"You should trust me though. About this at least. Because..." he draws his phone from his pocket, unlocking it and handing the phone to Roman when the wallpaper of him and Cody is revealed, "he loves Dean like I love Cody. I know how it feels to miss someone and have them hate you. I'm not doing this for you or Dean; I'm doing this for Seth. He's a good kid. And I'm sick of him moping about." Randy's heart is racing as he falls silent. He watches the emotions as they flicker across Roman's face – anger, doubt, confusion, realisation – and waits for the response.

"You and Cody? You're... _together_?" Randy nods, "and Seth was really...? Fuck." Roman sits down on the bench, putting his face in his hands. To say he feels like a dick now would be an understatement. He'd shot the younger man down, _made him cry_, after he'd gathered the courage to confess his feelings.

"I don't think he'll blame you for reacting the way you did," Randy slowly walks over to where Roman is sat and joins him. Both men are, admittedly, unnerved by the... friendliness. For so long they've been bitter enemies, and now Randy's here trying to help? "Don't suppose you know how Dean feels about him, do you? He doesn't seem like the type to spill his feelings."

"No, he really isn't. But just after we ran into you in the corridor earlier... I think it hit him hard and he kinda – he told me he's in love with Seth so... I suppose we've just gotta figure out how to get them to admit it to each other," Randy hums in agreement, "but don't think this makes us friends. I'm only doing this for them."

"I know. Soon as we get this sorted I'll be back to beating your ass every night." Roman laughs, forcing Randy to crack a smile also, and shakes his head. They both know this is simply a ceasefire, both know that before long they'll be deliberately sabotaging each other's chances at the titles. But in this ceasefire, Roman finds the familiarity comforting – he hasn't been able to joke around with Dean much since Seth jumped sides – and Randy? He can't help but wonder whether he would've gotten on with Roman had the situations been a little different.

"So," Roman starts, bringing the conversation back to the matter in hand, "I think I might have a plan..."

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><p>Dean sits staring at his pint, his right index finger dancing around the rim of the glass. He doesn't want to be here. He just wants to go back to his room and sleep. He's exhausted after everything that's gone on in the past 48 hours. He sees Seth hanging out with Randy yesterday, then he has an embarrassing breakdown in front of Roman, then he wrestles and jumps straight in the car to drive for five hours – a journey that would've only been three hours had they not managed to get stuck in a queue caused by a crash on the highway – and then he gets to sleep for about an hour before Roman hauls his ass out of bed and he has get ready for the Smackdown taping where he gets beat up <em>again<em>. And now he's here. Exhausted and irritable knowing there's a soft comfy bed with his name on it just a few minutes away.

He would've said no if it weren't for Roman's begging. He sounded so desperate that Dean was certain his friend would fall on his knees if he had to. He couldn't say no, even though he knew immediately that Roman was up to something.

And half an hour later, he still hasn't figured out what, but he knows there's _something _going on. As it turns out, he doesn't need to wait much longer...

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><p>Seth enters the pub with trepidation. On the journey here, Randy had told him he and Roman had come up with a plan. Seth was expecting... well, he isn't sure what he was expecting, but just walking in and sitting down with Dean? There is no way in hell this is going to work. This is crazy. This is –<p>

"Randy!" Seth's eyes dart around in search of the familiar voice, before settling on Roman, who gives them a small wave. He watches as Dean's eyes bulge in disbelief, h head snapping back and forth in confusion with such speed and force Seth is almost certain he'll give himself whiplash. Randy nudges him with his elbow and they both make the short journey from the bar to the booth. Dean's eyes grow wider with each step.

"_Roman_! What the _hell_?" Dean hisses as he slams his hands down on the table, his body vibrating with anger. Yeah, someone is _definitely_ getting punched. Though Seth thinks Roman might be a contender now.

"Look. I figured we should all talk. Y'know. Try and clear the air a bit."

"Try and clear the – are you _kidding_ me? No. There's no way in hell I'm gonna talk to _him_." Seth feels his chest tighten. Dean spits out_ 'him'_ as if any other name is poison. He remembers the days when Seth's name would be said with fondness, huffed out amid laughter when Seth's hands were attacking Dean's sides; when his name would be wrapped up in a moan while Seth tried to wake him – just the thought still causes his stomach to flutter. But all the sweetness has melted away, and all that's left is a bitter taste.

"Dean–" Roman begins.

"No! After everything he's done, you think I can just sit be all chummy with him? You know how much... _you know_–" Dean's words come to a halt, and Seth watches as Dean allows his mask to slip. His face is pained with despair, and it hits Seth just how much he hurt Dean. He hadn't – it's not like he thought Dean _wasn't_ upset. But he's only seen Dean angry since, and he hadn't even considered the fact that maybe his anger is all a front and that maybe Dean is hurting just as much as Seth...

He's so lost in his thoughts he doesn't realise Dean is talking again, but he hears the end of his rant. Four words that feel like a fatal stab wound to the heart, "he's dead to me."

Roman's eyes instantly shoot up to meet Seth's. His former teammate stands motionless, eyes firmly planted on the side of Dean's face, but they're not focused on anything in particular. There was a time when they'd laugh at the phrase – Dean would always say it so melodramatically of one of them dared to question his taste in music or films. But there's no laughter this time. No small smile playing on the edge of Dean's mouth. Roman's eyes move to Randy, and they're both thinking the same thing – this was a mistake. Randy opens his mouth to speak, break the silence that has fallen across the booth, but Seth beats him to it.

"I get it," he nods his head slowly, "I'm just gonna... I'm gonna go outside for a bit."

He's ruined any chance he ever had with Dean, all because he got scared. He took all the trust Dean had placed in him, all the friendship and care, and ran like a child. He pushes his way through the crowded bar and steps outside. The night air bites at his skin, and he finds himself wishing he could steal Dean's jacket like he used to. He leans against the wall next to the door, tears starting to pool in his eyes. He brought this all on himself really.

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><p>"I know you're angry man, but that was low."<p>

"You've had a change of heart haven't you? Yesterday you were telling me I deserve better and that I should move on, now you're telling me to talk to him? I don't get it Rome," Dean drains his glass and gestures to Randy, who is still hovering over the table, torn between following Seth and comforting him, and helping Roman get through to Dean, "and when the fuck did you get so buddy-buddy with him?"

"We're not – look, I'm just trying to help Seth, alright?" Randy bites back. How have Seth and Roman lasted _two years_ with this guy? He isn't sure he'd last two _days_.

"Help Seth with _what_?"

"With getting you, telling you that he's in love with you."

Dean's snarl falls flat, eyebrows drawing together, blue eyes darting between the two men, "he's what? How – how..."

"He told Randy the other night in that bar... he told me yesterday. We hoped he'd be able to tell you himself but, obviously not." Roman admits.

"How do you know this isn't just, just some bullshit they've come up with to... I don't know, mess with me or something?" Dean's eyes are locked with Roman, wide but not quite as lost as they have been for the past few weeks. Roman knows Dean wants to believe it but can't – he was in the same position yesterday.

"If I didn't believe it, would I be telling you? Would I get your hopes up? Would I agree to work with Randy to get you two boneheads to talk?" Dean shakes his head, not once taking his eyes off Roman, and Roman doesn't drop eye contact either. He knows how Dean works. Not enough people give him credit for his brains – all they see is his unstable nature, but Dean has a knack for reading people. He can almost always see when someone's lying to him. Once Dean finds whatever he's looking for, he presses his heels into his eyes, "I think you both need to sit down and talk, don't you?"

Dean forces out a hoarse "yeah", and slides out of the booth, following the path Seth took moments ago. He can feel his hands shaking and shoves them in the pockets of his jacket. All the things he wants to say are running through his mind at a hundred miles per hour, racing against his heartbeats when he opens the door and sees Seth leaning against the wall – eyes cast off somewhere in the distance.

How does he even start this conversation? Does he hug him? Tell him he loves him too? March over and kiss him? Or scare the little shit for a while as punishment for beating him with a chair when apparently he's in love with him? In the end, he goes for the latter option.

He kicks the glass bottle next to the door, watching as it takes flight before smashing against the concrete. Seth's eyes snap to the broken glass and then his eyes meet Dean's.

"Talk." Dean says shortly. He doesn't trust his voice to not break under the waves of emotions that roll over him as he looks into those brown eyes. And when he sees Seth flinch as he steps closer, it takes all of his willpower not to just screw it all and pull his brother into a bone crushing hug.

"I – I don't..." Seth is certain Dean has come outside to finally do what he's been trying to do for weeks – shut down the Seth Rollins business. His mind screams at him to run, but he stays rooted to the spot, mouth still open but no words coming out. Before he can even register the movements, Dean grabs two handfuls of his t-shirt and forces him against the wall.

"You don't what?"

"I don't... I don't know what to say. I – this is all a mess and I'm sorry. For _everything_. _God_. I've screwed up, I _know_. I just – I panicked. And I wish I knew what to say, wish I knew how to make it better, but I don't."

"Telling me why might be a start," he can feel Seth's heart racing through the soft cotton. It's probably cruel of him to put Seth through all of this, but after watching Seth act so uncharacteristically cocky and narcissistic for weeks, just seeing him so nervous and vulnerable feels... well, _good_ probably isn't the right word, but it certainly makes him feel something – like he recognises Seth for the first time in so long because he looks so innocent and is looking at him with those big dopey eyes that make his stomach flip, "actually, no. Just answer me this. Is it true?"

"What?"

"Is. It. True?"

"Is what true? You're not making any–" The hands gripping Seth's shirt tighten and Dean leans closer. He can feel each shallow breath as it hits his lips.

"Is it true that you're in love with me?" He watches as Seth's eyes widen in shock, feels as the pounding in Seth's chest quickens. There's a couple stutters, then a sigh.

"Y-yeah."

"No, I wanna hear _you_ say it." He hears the whine pass through the younger man's lips which causes the corner of his lips to quirk up into a smirk. Toying with Seth has always been one of his favourite pastimes.

"I'm... I'm in love with you."

"Good," Dean leans forward to silence Seth with his lips before they can begin to make a sound, both sets of eyes fluttering to a close. His hands, not content with the feel of soft cotton anymore, begin to travel up Seth's chest, over his shoulders and around to the back of his neck. He only lets his lips linger for a moment or two before he pulls back to see Seth staring at him as if he's grown a second head. He just chuckles and presses their foreheads together, grinning when he feels their noses brush. God, he feels giddy. Stupidly giddy, "cos I might kinda be in love with you too. Even though you're an idiot."

Seth laughs – a gentle thing tangled with a sigh of relief – and brings his hands up to rest on Dean's hips, fingertips dipping under his shirt to brush the skin there. Calm falls around them as they stand, just reveling in each other's company. It's all well and good, but Seth isn't content – not yet, "so… am I gonna get a proper kiss anytime soon or?"

Dean hums in consideration, "tell me why you did it, and you might."

Seth nods, taking a breath. He isn't even sure how to explain it, "I – I was stupid. I realised I was in love you and just... freaked out, I guess. Then Hunter comes and makes the offer and..." he sighs and shakes his head as much as he can within Dean's grasp. He can feel the hot wetness of tears spilling down his cheeks again just thinking about what he did, when all along Dean was – _is_ – in love with him too. All those weeks of pain he put them both through. Now here they are. His emotions are all over the place, just like his mind. He hears Dean try to shush him, thumbs wiping the wetness from under his eyes as gently as they can, lips printing a kiss between his eyebrows. He gathers himself the best he can, "I guess I thought if I was away from you I'd stop being in love with you. Not because – I was just scared. Scared of being in love, scared of ruining our friendship… It's stupid, _I'm_ stupid. I don't know how I can ever–"

Seth thinks Dean tells him to shut up but he isn't sure. His brain shuts down when those lips are reunited with his. He's never known electricity like it. Of all the lovers, he finds the biggest and brightest spark in the warmth of his best friend – the man he has been pulled and pushed toward since day one. Ever since those magnetic blue eyes met brown ones. They drew Seth in, and now, no matter how hard they try – neither of them can pull away.

Seth is drawn back from his thoughts when Dean bites his bottom lip. His hands move of their own accord – urging Dean's hips forward until they're pinning him against the wall and he can feel the heat and–

The moan Seth lets out is delicious. It sends Dean's heart into a frenzy. In the back of his mind he's faintly aware that they're still in public, that anyone could step outside at any moment and catch them, but that doesn't stop him from thrusting his hips forward just to hear that noise again, and again, and _oh God_ when he pulls back for the briefest of seconds and sees Seth staring at him with lust-laden eyes and parted pouty lips he practically throws himself forward.

He pushes his hands further until they're at the back of Seth's head, and licks into the warm mouth, barely able to suppress a groan as their tongues touch for the first time and curl around each other. As the kiss becomes more heated, Dean becomes increasingly aware of the tightening in his jeans, and the solid warmth in the front of Seth's. The friction is too much but just, just _not enough_. He needs to feel him, all of him. Seth's hand is apparently on the same wavelength as it begins to journey up his chest, dancing over the skin and leaving behind a trail of goosebumps in their wake. Then they descend again, the scratch of dull nails causing his breath to catch in his throat his stomach to tighten. Even though the position is so familiar, he's never felt so on fire.

Then there's a hand cupping him through his jeans and he's certain his brain is about to short-circuit.

"Seth, oh fuck," Dean's voice is gravely and low, doused in arousal. It makes Seth want to squeeze his hand slightly to see what kind of reaction he would get. So he does. He watches as Dean's eyes struggle to even flutter open, and as his lips part to release a shaky breath, one hand falling from his hair to wrap around his wrist. His hand isn't pushed away, but it isn't being led closer either, "if you keep that up I'll throw you on the floor and fuck you right now."

"Maybe I want you to."

Dean huffs a laugh and turns Seth around to face the door. There's some shuffling behind him, then a heavy weight falls across his shoulders. Seth bites back a grin as he slips his arms into the sleeves of the jacket. It smells like cigarettes, alcohol, and that oh so familiar musk. It smells like Dean – smells like _home_. Not that he'll tell Dean that.

Then, Dean's lips are against his ear, "mm, think I'd rather wait till tonight. Wanna see you come undone on my sheets... Wanna see you _come_," he rasps, nipping at Seth's ear for good measure before groaning, "fuck, I just wanna _see you_."

Without thinking, Seth lets his head drop back against Dean's shoulder, an invitation for Dean to take his teeth and start nipping at the exposed skin – tongue soothing over each mark. Seth is about three seconds from tackling _Dean_ to the floor when he steps away and brushes past Seth. He pauses in the doorway and turns, a smirk tugging at his mouth, "you coming_, _Seth?"

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><p>Later that night – when they're a tangled, sweaty, sticky mess of limbs under the covers, when they're still basking in the afterglow of the night's activities – Seth finds himself wondering, <em>'what now?'<em>

Sure, their feelings for each other are now out in the open, but that doesn't change the fact Seth is with the Authority, and that they have a vendetta against Dean as well as Roman. If he were to just pack up and rejoin Dean... that'd put him in the firing line also. And, well, he thinks, in some ways, they're better off staying on their own. Roman's fighting for the titles, and both he and Dean are in the contract match. Why change anything?

But will Dean still want to be with him if he's still being beat down on a weekly basis? Will he make him choose between his career and a fledgling relationship? It's not like he doesn't know Dean and all his quirks, but being friends with someone is completely different to being in a relationship. While he would love to settle down with Dean, succeed and grow old together, that isn't something he can guarantee. And if he picked Dean, then the relationship broke down... that'd leave him with the Authority on his back and nobody to kiss the bruises better when he returns to the locker room...

"Shut up." Dean's voice suddenly mutters in his ear.

"I didn't say anything." He_ hopes._

"I can hear you thinking. You're an incredibly loud thinker," then there's a curve of a smile against his cheek, "then again, you're incredibly loud when you're doing a lot of things."

Seth chuckles and rolls onto his side to face Dean, who's already looking at him with sleepy blue eyes and cheeky smirk accompanied by dimples he can't resist poking _just because he can_. The action causes Dean to scrunch up his nose and _God_, Seth hates how cute this man can be, "I was just wondering… what happens now?"

"We sleep?" For that, Dean earns himself a pair of brown eyes rolling, "oh, y'mean... y'mean, with _us_?" Seth nods, "I just figured we'd stay how we are. We're doing alright, we're in the ladder match and one of us is gonna end up with that briefcase. Why change anything? ...You can be my dirty little secret."

"I think you'll find _you're my _dirty little secret."

Dean huffs and loops an arm under Seth's, pulling him close. He rolls onto his back, Seth following the movements and resting his head on Dean's chest. "mm, ok. We're each other's dirty little secrets. But we'll talk in the morning. Wanna sleep now. Shh." Seth laughs gently, silently agreeing, and throws an arm over Dean's waist.

He isn't sure how long they just... lay there. But eventually the hand drifting up and down his back begins to slow. And the rise and fall of Dean's chest evens out. And for the first time in weeks, Seth finds himself drifting to sleep with ease. He's always found it easier to sleep when he's home.

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><p><strong>AN: **So there we have it. Our boys finally sorted themselves out! I'm a little unsure on the ending, but I'm in one of those sappy moods. And that kiss was the first time I wrote a scene that actually went into any kind of detail and it felt like it took forever to write. So yeah. I think it turned out alright. It still had me blushing like hell though – I don't know how people can actually write when they, y'know, _do the do_. But I digress. As always, all reviews are welcome! And thanks for reading!


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